Cats And Coupons

I love riddles. Here’s some riddles about cats, and what you’d end up with if you mixed them with some other animals. Fortunately this is imaginary and cannot be accomplished by using a KVM switch or any other switch, or who know’s what we’d have running around.

Q: What would you get if you crossed a cat and a dog?
A: An animal that chases itself!

Q: What would you get if you crossed a cat and a donkey?
A: A Mewl.

Q: What do you call a cross between a cat and a skunk?
A: A mew pew!

Q: What would you get if you corssed a kitten and a mackerel?
A: A catfish!

Getting a cat to take a pill, even a small one, can be challenging. Good thing that cats don’t have to take prenatal vitamins, right? That reminded me of a little rhyme that I received about giving a cat a pill. It’s great, check it out!

I am cat. Cat I am.
I will not eat my pill with ham.

I will not take it with a mouse,
I will not take it in a house.

I will not take it don’t you see,
I will not take it, Cat is me!

I will not take it in the yard,
I will not take it in the car.

I will not take this pill you fool,
I will not take it in a pool.

I will not take it if you plead,
I will not take it when you bleed.

I will not take it when you beg,
I will not take it with a keg.

I’ll nae take it naer ye try,
I’ll just flick it in yer eye.

I won’t eat it, try again.
Won’t eat it when yer on a can.

Won’t even take it when ye die,
No matter how ye try and try.

I will not eat it thank ye ma’am
I am a cat — I am I am!

Not sure what the best weight loss pills are? Consider cat fitness as an alternative.

Cat fitness really can be fun. However, it is important to start any fitness program only when you feel like it. Don’t let a few extra pounds intimidate you into becoming more active.

The most important aspect of fitness is: when to start the program. The best time is at about 2 a.m. The house is quiet; there are no distractions.

The warm-up is critical. Cats are experts at stretching, so this won’t be a problem. Start with a few wild sprints, full speed, toenails clicking on the tile or linoleum floors. A few low but loud growls will help you feel charged up.

Now it is time to add some eye-paw coordination work. Find a marble (the big steelies work even better) and roll that down the floor as the sprints continue. See how many times you can ricochet it off the wallboards before it disappears under the fridge.

Finally, work on that upper body strength. Climbing is a great exercise. Use draperies, macramé plant hangers, or clothing on hangers. You can even find some carpeting on some basement walls. Backs of chairs work well, too.

Now put it all together. A speed sprint to the end of the hall! A race around the living room! Leap to the back of the rocking chair! Let the rebound launch you to the top of the swinging planter! Rock that baby! Feel those muscles work. Just as the hook pulls loose from the ceiling, dash to the bedroom and dive under the covers. Establish your alibi just in time to hear the crash of the plant to the floor below.

If you’re considering moving something you have to consider is if you have a pet or if you’re planning on getting one. Check out resources in the area you’re considering moving into. Here’s an example. Let’s say you’re looking at Indianapolis real estate. The Humane Society of Indianapolis offers cat training classes. It’s a great idea for anyone who’s never had a cat, so they can learn about handling a cat and cat behavior. One thing I wish I knew how to do was clip a cat’s nails. I know the how to but I am afraid to because I’m afraid I’ll get too close and cut the quick as my cat’s have dark nails. Do you trim your cat’s nails?

On the first day of creation, God created the cat.

On the second day, God created man to serve the cat.

On the third day, God created all the animals of the earth to serve as potential food for the cat.

On the fourth day, God created honest toil so that man could labor for the good of the cat.

On the fifth day, God created the sparkle ball so that the cat might or might not play with it.

On the sixth day, God created veterinary science to keep the cat healthy and the man broke.

On the seventh day, God tried to rest, but He had to scoop the litterbox…. Yes, it’s a cat’s world after all. Amen!.

I have two printers on the top shelf of my desk. One of them is very noisy, even though it’s an inkjet it makes similar noise to a receipt printer. I think it’s really annoying but I think the cat finds it intriguing. Every now and again the printer will cycle and make noise. When it does the cat stands up and looks at it as if to be sure it isn’t an animal making the noise. He only does this when it’s cycling on it’s own or when it’s warming up because I haven’t printed in a while. Does your cat have any interest in your printer?

Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, “Whatcha doing, Tim?” “My goldfish died,” replied the boy tearfully, without looking up. “And I’ve just buried him.” The neighbor was concerned. “That’s an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn’t it?” Tim patted down the last heap of earth then replied, “That’s because he’s inside your cat.”

Does your cat like to get into things they shouldn’t? Romeo, the cat I have now, loves to explore and climb in places he shouldn’t be. Lately we’ve caught him climbing up to sit on top of the speakers. One night when he was up there he attacked my husband’s head! He’s also been found on top of the top shelf of my desk. My son has one of those entertainment centers in his room where his television and video games are, he found the cat hiding on one of the shelves recently. The oddest place Romeo has been frequenting is the sink, where RB has seen him four times this week. What’s the oddest place your cat goes?

A woman is walking in the park when she sees a man playing chess with his cat. She says to the man “I can’t believe what I’m seeing, a cat that plays chess, what a clever animal!!” The man replied “Nah lady this cats not clever at all I’m beating it 6 games to 1″

While my parents were away in Florida recently I took care of their cats and dogs. Now there is an outdoor cat that my parents feed. Actually two of them. They put food out on the back deck every day. When I went up to my parents house the other day after returning from Florida I wasn’t prepared for the amount of snow on the back deck. It was about four feet high. The cats walked across the top to get their food. I’m sure they would have been just as happy to see an outdoor fireplace as they were to see their food, they looked pretty cold. Do you see many cats outdoors in your area?