Cats and Coupons

Eighth grade is a very memorable year in a persons life. The end of their middle school life and the start of their high school careers. One part however about middle school that my son did not like would be the graduation. For this occasion they request that all students wear formal attire. Most kids did not like this rule but put up with it anyway. On the bright side they did not have to wear bow ties. A bit of a downer for me was that they didn’t wear caps and gowns. Cats look so cute in caps, I know the kids would have looked even better.

My son and my brother always argue over this one topic. Game systems. my son has always believed the xbox 360 was a better choice. My brother is always trying to convince him that the playstation 3 is better. While it may be newer in my  son’s opinion it will still never match up to the xbox products. I wonder which system would be easier for a cat to play - handheld or console? And which console?

I’ve never given much thought to what goes on outside while I’m asleep but lately I’ve been thinking that maybe it’s time to put some low voltage path lights. Recently my son’s bike was stolen and my truck was broken into. My Mom lives close by. In recent months she has had a raccoon and another wild animal in the backyard. I know I’ve seen a black cat in the yard in the early morning. I leave for work at 4:30 am and I’m getting a little nervous about what I might encounter when I leave the house in the morning.

Do you have a preference if your pet is a male or female? I prefer male cats. Why? Because every male cat we’ve ever had has bonded well with me and been closer with me than anyone else in the family. Every female cat we’ve had has preferred RB (my husband). The same applies with the dogs that we have. I don’t know if it’s because of a difference in hgh or other hormones or what it is. My friends are split pretty evenly on the question. So what are your thoughts? Do you find that pets you’ve had have bonded more closely with a person of the same or opposite sex?

Every cat I’ve ever had has come running when I used the can opener. They all thought it was tuna or a can of cat food. Not Romeo. He couldn’t care less. He doesn’t come running when I open the can opener. He refuses to eat canned cat food. But guess what he loves, what gets his interest every time? Sliced american cheese from the deli. We found out accidentally one day. We were making burgers a couple of weeks ago using our small electric grill. We dropped a piece of cheese accidentally and he snagged it right up. Ever since then, every time we open the bag the deli puts the cheese in he comes running. He’ll meow at you as if to ask for some. Does your cat eat or want to eat cheese?

If you’re like me you take pictures of your pets. I have pictures of every cat I’ve had for almost twenty years. I often remember the ones that are no longer with me fondly and would like to look at their pictures. The thing is, pictures can take a lot of time to go through when you have as many as I do. I have thousands of digital pictures and thousands more on film. So I had an idea. I’d like to go through my pictures and set aside my favorite ones with my cats. Then I’d like to have a personalized calendar made, similiar to one of those promotional calenders you see companies give, and keep it for myself. Then I’d be able to see all of the cats easily, any time.

If you’re like many people, you have a digital camera. You take pictures of your family, your pets, whatever strikes you. One of the most overlooked camera accessories is the storage, the removable media. It’s hard to take a picture when you have nowhere to store it. The price of an SD card, as well as other forms of memory,has come down a lot in recent years. Media gets full, and occasionally has been known to have a problem. The answer? Have a backup, allowing you to make sure you have the opportunity to get that great shot of your child. Or your cat.

Does your dog react to different sounds? My Mom’s dog, a Boxer, always barks like crazy when their door chime sounds. Now that’s not all that unusual, a dog marking at the door. What is unusual is that years ago when my youngest  son was very little he used to bark when he heard it ring as well. He heard the dog bark at the door so often that he thought it was the thing to do. He doesn’t do it anymore, which we’re really happy about.Who barks when someone’s at your door?

I love to laugh and got a good laugh out of this diary. I was gasping for air when I read this, had I been on an oximeter it surely would have gone off

DAY 752 — My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

DAY 761 — Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs.

In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair…must try this on their bed.

DAY 762 — Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.

DAY 765 — Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was… Hmmm. Not working according to plan……

DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called “shampoo.” What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call “beer.” More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of “allergies.” Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage….

DAY 774 — I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dogs are routinely released and seem more than happy to return. They are obviously half-wits. The Birds, on the other hand, have got to be informants. They have mastered their frightful tongue (something akin to mole speak) and the birds speak with them regularly. I am certain they report my every move. Due to their current placement in the metal room their safety is assured.

But I can wait, it is only a matter of time.

A Veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor. (She wasn’t looking for a cellulite cure, she was really feeling under the weather.)

The doctor asked her all the usual questions, about symptoms, how long had they been occurring, etc., when she interrupted him.

“Hey look, I’m a vet - *I* don’t need to ask my patients these kind of questions. I can tell what’s wrong just by
looking.” She smugly added, “Why can’t you?”

The doctor nodded, stood back, looked her up and down, quickly wrote out a prescription, handed it to her and said,
“There you are. Of course, if *that* doesn’t work, we’ll have to have you put to sleep.”

Does your cat bother with your window dressings? Our cat loved to play with the vertical blinds when we had them. The noise got a bit annoying at times. One of the nice things about roller blinds and shades is that they don’t hand and move like vertical blinds do. I think they’re easier to clean as well. My Mom had roller blinds in every window for years. Do you prefer vertical blinds, roller shades or just curtains? Which does your cat prefer?

I wonder why the Jetsons had no cat. They had the dog Astro, who when he spoke you couldn’t understand what he said. Bsn atro phex might have been dog speak or the name of a drug, who knows. What surprises me the most is that they didn’t make Astro robotic, like Rosie the maid. That would have made lots of sense, and fit right in with the show.

I can’t help but wonder how different our lives would be if we lived more like cats. While cats require regular checkups and vaccinations, they don’t seem to have as many of the serious health issues that we people have. While there are some obese cats you don’t hear about cats needing gallbladder surgery or concerning themselves with colon cleanse reviews. Maybe it’s because of their food. Hmmmm. Speaking of cats and food…

Q: How is cat food sold?
A: So much purr can.

Q: What is a cat’s favourite dessert?
A: Mice pudding.

Q: How do you get milk from a cat?
A: Steal its saucer.

Q: What do English cats drink in the afternoon?
A: Kit-tea.

Q: What do alien cats like to have for breakfast?
A: A flying saucer of milk.

Q: Which foods definitely don’t mix?
A: A hot dog and Catsup.

Q: What would you get if you crossed a kitten with a melon?
A: A cat-aloupe!

I love to watch cats play. That’s the best exercise for them, better than any elliptical or other exercise equipment. Why? Because they get to use their natural instinct and because it’s fun. It’s fun for them to do and fun for us to watch. Here’s two riddles for you.

Q: What do you call a chubby kitty?
A: A fat cat!

Q: What do you call a cat who works out?
A: A Fit kit!